On (Not) Writing

For anyone who has been interested in what I have to write, you’ve likely been disappointed. Maybe not by the content (maybe so), but by its infrequency. It’s not that I’ve lacked for subject matter. There’s plenty to muse upon. Nor is it for lack of time.

Outside of real books that I consume regularly and quite voraciously, I’ve been finding some really good writers here on Substack. Here and there, I’ll click to follow someone. Somehow, notices of a new post end up in my email box. Generally, I’m encouraged and impressed by the kind of writers who are out there taking their piece in the attention economy “pie.” Even if I don’t get to read or meaningfully interact with every post, my little galaxy shines with a diverse brilliance of thoughtful people who love others with their words. So, thank you! Keep writing! It matters. Most likely, here on Substack, it’s other writers who will take the time to read others’ writing. I think that is downright generous and kind. I pray your tribe increases!

A couple years ago, I changed the vocational tag on my LinkedIn profile by adding and writer to pastor. Since that’s the only social medium I pay attention to, you can imagine the impostor syndrome feeling I get when I notice my profile. I mean, how much writing ‘doth the writer make’? This post isn’t my announcement that “I’m back!” I know myself better than to promise you scheduled content. I really do like writing. Or, at least the idea of it. Some have told me that it does them good.

One of my vocations (pastor) traffics heavily in the spiritual, existential and metaphysical matters of real people. Believe me, I’ve been in my dream job for nearly 14 years. Those people I’m honored to pastor are an ever-growing dropdown menu of life’s joys and griefs; mundane and extreme. Pastoring is like a farmer’s race against the unseen and eternal. And if that last sentence just flummoxed you as it did me, well then, maybe it just showed you a porthole into my life. The metrics of this vocation are not easily captured by spreadsheets or the volume in a church building any given Sunday. The results are deceptive, and the finish line appears non-existent.

Another vocation of mine (common to many) is being a husband and a father. I am also a son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, etc. So much of my time, energy, will and emotions are invested in this bucket. It’s messy. Most days, it’s just about putting one foot in front of the other. Paying a bill on time and keeping a kid alive, at the end of a literal day, feels like a win. As it’s been said of domestic life, “the years are short but the days are long.” The jury’s still out on how I’m doing in this department, but if I can avoid major crashes, burns or outright flaming out, I’ve needed to tend to those real people that see me every day or once a week or… you get the picture.

So, between those two major vocations, I’ve not prioritized getting up early or opening a laptop at home in the evening to write more Middle Words. The margins, energy and desire have not often been there. I’ve read great books like Stephen King’s On Writing and Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott which cleverly capture the writing craft and encourage the aspiring writer to get after it.

To those who do prioritize the act of loving people through your published words, I applaud and admire you. I hope to join your ranks more often ‘on writing’ for the delight of others and love of the craft. Keep it up!